Gleeful Hands
by TheSpottedPen
Summary: Ever wonder what the Glee boys think about when they take themselves in hand? Well, wonder no longer. PWP, smut and slash within.
1. Chapter 1: Mike

**Author's Note:** _Hello! This was a Kink Meme fill inspired by a prompter wanting to see vignettes of the Glee boys' fantasies while masturbating. I'm re-publishing this in chapters because I couldn't figure out how to make it look okay otherwise. I guess it's PWP, lots of smut going on and some slash and femslash. If you're still here, happy reading- hope you are entertained._

Mike enjoys moving his hand up and down his dick in long, languid strokes. He'd never tell anyone, but he also likes to warm his hands over the stove before he goes at it. Only the stove - no substitute will suffice. He waits until they're good and toasty and red, almost burning so that when he gets back to his room they're still warm and ready.

He lies back on his bed with a smile on his face as his eyelids drift down and he pictures Tina in her Gaga bubble costume. She's dancing around, dropping those plastic bubbles with every move she makes to reveal smooth skin. She pauses every once in a while, eyes wide as she brings her hand to her mouth. Like she's saying, "Is that my outfit on the floor? Oh, dear!" Mike tweaks his head whenever she does that.

The last few bubbles cover her nipples and sweet snatch. She turns around and arches her back, legs spread wide and ass beckoning as those bubbles hit the floor. She looks over her shoulder and blows Mike a kiss. The kiss lands on the head of his cock and Mike explodes.


	2. Chapter 2: Puck

But fuck that noise. Puck is a pumper and a grunter. He slams his room door shut, blasts some loud tunes and handles his dick like he handles cougars. And today's fantasy is the same as always. First, he's in the locker room and just happens to drop his towel. Finn, Sam, everyone just stops what they're doing to stare in awe at his massive cock. Finn blushes.

"Dude, that's-"

But of course, there are no words. And Sam just stands there, foaming at the mouth and licking his ladylips. Come on, he's totally seen Sam sneaking peeks of his junk in the locker room. And his answer to Puck's balls comment?_ Totally_ fishing for dude sex. Which he's not gonna get, because Puckzilla is no fudgepacker. Still, these guys are totally popping boners staring at his boner, jealous of his magnitude.

The jealousy only gets better as all of the Cheerios line up before him, begging him to stick them. He only picks the really hot ones, and pegs Quinn extra nice. But when she's crying and pleading with him to come inside her, "_Please, Puck, I need your cum inside me again!_" He just smirks and pulls out.

He smirks now and gives his dick a rough squeeze and pull. Faster and faster, he's giving these Cheerios the best orgasms of their lives while the guys watch. No one would ever know that his dick is completely average. Or that his grunts are getting increasingly higher pitched and girly with each Cheerios' orgasm. And as he comes, he's screeching like Prince and a little afraid of his own passionate release. Decidedly not badass.


	3. Chapter 3: Artie

-1You know what is kind of bad ass? The way that Artie sees Tina bouncing in his lap. She's panting and all thoughts of Mike's abs have been erased.

"Y-y-you're da m-m-man, Artie!"

Sweet stuttering music to Artie's ears. He's just chilling in his wheelchair, petting himself. Tina is such an amazing bouncer.

In his mind, he tilts his head back and Brittany smiles down at him before taking off her Cheerios top.

"Tina is so turning me on right now."

Artie frowns for a second, but Brittany's breasts press into his face and he doesn't care anymore.

"I-I-I'm s-so s-s-sorry, Artie!"

"Again, woman," he murmurs around Brittany's puffy nipples. "Louder, this time, thank you."

"S-so s-sorry, Artie!"

"That's right," Artie mumbles out loud in real life. The petting has become slightly abrasive, but Artie is too busy imagining Brittany wave her tits in his face and hearing Tina sob for forgiveness as she rides him like a champ. He'll probably be rubbing his crotch later over the irritation, but for now he grits his teeth as his upper body spasms. If only the world were as perfect as this.


	4. Chapter 4: Sam

In Sam's perfect world, he isn't a virgin. But he is, and you can tell because just thinking about masturbating excites the hell out of him. His hand shakes as he slides his moist palm from base to head and back in frantic motion. He bites his lower lip and sweat forms on his brow as his mind wanders to Quinn. Beautiful, perfect Quinn wearing a prom crown on all fours in her cheerleading uniform. Her lips are parted and she throws her head back. _Aaah..._ Sam is already bright red, but he can't end it yet!

Her cross slaps her in the arm and chest as she takes it from behind. But it's not Sam giving it to her - dude, it's Finn! Finn pushing into her ever-so-gently, with that smile on his face; the one that always makes Sam feel like he belongs. Sam is so freaking hard right now.

Finn places one hand against Quinn's hip while the other splays across her back - which is oddly broader, muscular, darker- _crap, not again!_ Sam's hips jerk but he takes a deep breath to stop himself from blowing his load again. _Why can't he be normal?_

It's Puck that glances back at Finn and then turns his smug face to Sam. He lifts an eyebrow at Sam and winks. Usually, Sam forces Quinn back into his fantasy, but he is way too close to hold it now. Maybe if Quinn would stop holding out on him, this wouldn't happen!

He bucks as he and dream Finn cream at the same time. Sam's sucking in air and looking around his room in guilt, but he's also a little proud of himself. He lasted for two minutes. That's a new record for him.


	5. Chapter 5: Blaine

Blaine does not have that problem. He plays with his penis at his leisure. He can last all day, because he's just perfect like that. Really. He whistles and savors the feeling of both hands this fine day. They are slathered with hot motion lotion to replicate the feeling of being inside a mouth. Two of his favorite warblers worship his cock, taking turns licking and sucking. They bicker over who will get to swallow his cum. Blaine lets out a hollow whistle and winces a bit. That last squeeze was a bit much; he needs to lighten his hand.

"No need to fight, gentlemen. There will be enough for both of you."

They sigh and go back to sharing like the exemplary Dalton scholars that they are. Then, Kurt crawls over.

Blaine stops moving his hands over his penis and makes a face. _Now, how did Kurt get in there? _Yes, it's very flattering that Kurt has puppy dog eyes for him, but there's nothing remotely exciting about him outside of their shared love of all things fashion and musical. Besides, Kurt doesn't appreciate Dalton's uniform.

Blaine sighs and finishes the most disappointing masturbation episode he's had since middle school. Seriously, he doesn't even feel like licking his cum drenched hand when he's done.


	6. Chapter 6: Kurt

Kurt feels like he's having one of his best. Of course, he prepares. He absolutely cannot do this without a box of tissue and lotion present. He has his dorm room to himself for at least half an hour. Plenty of time to lie flat on his bed and dream a little dream of -_surprise_- Blaine. A taller Blaine, about Finn's height. Actually, exactly Finn's height. Blaine smiles and divests himself of that hideous uniform. Kurt massages his tip and grips his length near the base. Beneath the Dalton blazer and shirt, Blaine's torso strongly resembles Sam's - it's wet, too.

_Silly details_. It's still Blaine, naked and shining because there's a giant corona outlining his fine shape.

"You can dress me as you wish."

"Yes!"

The word passes through Kurt's lips before he can stop it. He brings one of his hands up to his chest and lets the other drift up and down his shaft. Shaky sighs escape him as taller, well-muscled Blaine takes his hand and leads him to a silken duvet. He positions Kurt on his hands and knees before mounting him. When he enters Kurt, it's the most beautiful feeling in the world. He rolls his hips against Kurt's backside and they move together in perfect, magical harmony.

"_Oh, Blaine_," he exhales, clutching at the Dalton crest on his jacket.

He reaches for the tissue to catch his semen as his eyes twinkle up at the ceiling. He and Blaine are going to be the best couple ever.


	7. Chapter 7: Finn

Finn and Rachel were an awesome couple, but Finn has to admit that he feels a lot more comfortable jerking off since they split. It was so uncool of him to think things like this while Rachel was his girlfriend. So he relaxes on one of the weird chairs that Kurt put in their room and let's himself picture Rachel standing in one of those little skirts that makes her ass look so sweet. Santana appears beside her wearing only the Cheerios skirt. Finn totally has a thing for skirts. She sinks to her knees and her head disappears under Rachel's skirt. Rachel's legs start to shake and she looks shocked and turned on at once.

Finn's hand is flying and he has the biggest grin on his face. This is, like, _way _hotter than it looked on the internet. Rachel's eyes are closed and her mouth is opened like she's about to sing. But she's not, because Santana stands up and puts her claws into Rachel's hair before closing her mouth over Rachel's. _Oh, yes_.

As they make out, Quinn enters the scene, also topless. She bats her lashes at Finn before cupping Santana's boobs and fondling them. Every man's fantasy - his two exes and the fox who took his virginity getting it on. Santana rips her mouth away from Rachel's and her tongue comes out to clean her own sticky, wet and swollen lips. And then they're all coming towards him...but, dammit, he's _done!_

Finn looks down at his sticky, jizzed up hand and lap. He always does this and, dude, it's so lame. He's always left wondering what would have happened if they got to him. Then he starts wondering if maybe they weren't coming to scratch his eyes out or eat him or something. They did look hungry. Finn's eyebrows create a knot in his forehead. After several minutes dwelling on the mysterious daydream, he figures that it's not worth hurting his brain over and just cleans up.

This jerk off was over.


End file.
